As many of you know, your sex drive is your desire to follow through and fulfill your sexual desires. As a young person, you (yes, you, the reader!) are supposed to have an over-active sex drive. This means that, in theory, you want to have sex constantly and you think about it all the time because of your hormones. This is true for some people, but let’s be real – it’s not the case for everyone. Some people just don’t want sex that much! But if you always did, and you suddenly feel like you don’t, there could be something killing your sex drive. It ebbs and flows like anything else, but if there’s a hard downward spike, that’s a clue that something might up. I’m not just talking about the fact that you might not be sexually attracted to bae anymore or a clue that you’re holding onto anger. I’m talking about weird outside factors that you might think don’t affect your sexuality, but actually play a part.
Again, these might not apply to you if you’ve never had a high sex drive. There are plenty of people who are asexual, or young people who just don’t feel the urge as much as other young people. But if your sex drive has gone from hyper-active or non-existent, then you should continue reading. If you’re interested in finding out what’s going on, these are seven surprising things that will totally wreck your sex drive.
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Pulling All Nighters
Staying up all night to get work done makes you tired, zaps you of all your energy, and throws your whole body out of wack. Not to mention, if you're going hard on a big project, chances are it's eating away into date time. Spending more time working and less time with bae is a perfect equation to hooking up a lot less often than you used to. High stress, no sleep, and a brain and body in temporary disarray is not going to make you want to have sex. Your body's first priority is to restabilize itself and get back in to a routine that feels good. Once you settle that, you're probably going to notice a spike in your sex drive again. Until then? Your body only wants to get back to normal.Source: iStockOvereating
Junk food makes you feel sluggish. When you're sluggish, do you really want to be putting your body anywhere near another person's body? Snacking a lot and eating foods high in fat and sugar content are going to weigh you down. Even having a large healthy meal could have this effect on you. Your body is full of food! Sex is a highly physical activity. Do you see how the two might not want to go together, especially if you have a sensitive stomach? Of course, there's the negative body image component behind overeating as a compulsive behavior. The point is, if you're not feeling so great, you're not going to want to have sex, and a lot of the time, it has to do with what you just ate.Source: iStockYour Meds
On every anti-depressants commercial they always emphasize that a low sex drive is a possible side effect. It's true for a lot of pills, like birth control meds, beta-blockers, and even allergy meds, which have shown to negatively impact your sex drive by causing vaginal dryness. The quick fix might appear to be quit your meds and just go back to your normal sex drive, right? Don't. If you're taking medication, you're probably doing it for a real reason that shouldn't be ignored. Don't quit your meds cold turkey, especially if they've been prescribed by your doctor. Yes, a lower sex drive might be part of your new reality, so you need to make adjustments around that to get you in the mood when you or your partner feel like hooking up.Source: iStockLaziness
Too much sitting around isn't always a good thing. I love Netflix and chilling horizontally on a couch just like everybody else, but if you get too sedintary, it can really zap your sex drive. To put it simply, laziness begets more laziness. So, if you're not into getting up and moving around, you are less likely to want to get physical with someone because you'd rather not bother. You don't have to full on work out in order to get yourself out of this rut, though, so don't freak out if you're not into exercise. Even taking a walk can boost your heartrate for the time being, get some endorphins going, and boost your sex drive back to normal.Source: iStockPoor Communication
If you're fighting constantly, butting heads, and falling apart in terms of communication in your relationship, it's going to show up in your lack of sex. Not just less in frequency, but you'll want to engage less with the person you're hooking up with. Even for couples who communicate perfectly in their relationship, if you're not communicating well in bed, you're going to want to do it less, too. Why? You're probably not having very good sex if you can't communicate about what you want. Staying silent or communicating in a hurtful way still counts as poor communication, even if sex is the only time you aren't great at it.Source: iStockStress, Anxiety, Depression
Feeling anxious or depressed is going to put a damper on wanting to be intimate with anyone. This seems obvious to anyone with depression, but the depression that comes after the loss of a loved one, for example, falls into this category. Even too much stress can negatively impact your sex drive. Have you ever been too worried and worked up to do anything else? Then you know what I'm talking about. Your brain is literally too busy running on all cylinders doing one thing that it's not even touching the part of your consciousness that wants to have sex. Sometimes this passes, sometimes it doesn't (and if it doesn't, ask your doctor about how to fix it). Source: iStockThe Patriarchy
I know! Hear me out: it's the only word I could find that perfectly encapsulates the false idea that sex is over when a man ejaculates, negative body image, the pressure to be sexy, and women constantly putting themselves in a position of "service" and reticent to advocate for their own (sexual) pleasure. It's entirely possible that the patriarchy has gotten you down about doing it and slowly killed your sex drive over time. Last I checked, the patriarchy has been running rampant in 2016 thanks to election season. So yeah, after what feels like hours of screaming at people to finally understand that women are people who deserve respect and autonomy, it's no wonder why the next thing on your to do list isn't sex, it's taking a nap. Being oppressed by the patriarchy isn't fun, it's exhausting.Source: iStockHow do these things effect your sex drive? Do you think there is such a thing as a normal sex drive? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.
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